Act I, Scene One

     Sano and Kenshin walked into the town square of Verona. They started looking around at food, when Sano started ranting about Montagues. "Kenshin, on my word we won’t suffer humiliation patiently!"

     Kenshin sweatdropped. "No, for then we’d be carriers of humiliation."

     Sano clenched his fist. "I mean, if we are angry, we will draw our swords!"

     "Ay, while you live, draw your neck out of a hangman’s rope," Kenshin replied.

     "Hm! I will strike quickly, being provoked!"

     "But you are not quickly provoked to strike."

     "A dog of the house of Montague provokes me!"

     "To move is to stir, and to be valiant is to stand. Therefore, if you are provoked, you will run away."

     "A dog of that house shall provoke me to stand! I will fight any man or maid of Montagues!" Sano held the hilt of his sword and stood ready to draw.

     "That would make you a weak slave, for only weak men kill woman. The fight is just between our masters and us, their men."

     "‘Tis all the same. I will be very cruel when I fight the men, but I will be kind to the maids, I will only cut off their heads!" Sano said eagerly.

     "The heads of the maids?" Kenshin repeated.

     "Yes, the heads of the maids, or their maiden heads." Sano got a horny smile. "Whichever you prefer."

     "The maids must be the ones who feel what you do to them..."

     "Me, they shall feel while I am able to stand, and it is known that I am a nice piece of flesh," Sano replied, with another horny smile.

     "It’s good you’re not a fish; if you were, you would have been dried, and salted poorly." Kenshin looked down the street and glared as Koenma and his serving man, Jorge, approached. "Draw your sword. Here comes two of the house of Montague."

     Sano placed his hand on the hilt of his sword again. "Fight, and I will watch your back."

     "How? By running away?"

     "Don’t fear me!"

     "No, indeed! I am afraid of you!" Kenshin responded.

     "Let us have the law on our sides; let them start the fight."

     "I will glare as I walk by, and let them take it as they please." (And we all know Kenshin has a scary ass glare, so it’ll be pretty damn offending.)

     "No, as they dare! I will bite my thumb at them, which is a disgrace to them if they bear it." Sano then raised his hand to his mouth, and bit down on his thumb.

     Koenma looked at him with annoyance. "Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?"

     Sano smiled and took his thumb out of his mouth to talk. "I do bite my thumb sir," he replied.

     "But do you bite your thumb at us, sir?" Koenma repeated as he glared at Sano and Kenshin.

     Sano turned to Kenshin. "Is the law on our side if I reply ‘Ay’?" he whispered.

     "No," Kenshin whispered back.

     Sano turned back to Koenma and did a wide, mocking bow. "Then I do not bite my thumb at you, sir." He stood up straight and held up his thumb. "But I do bite my thumb, sir." And he bit his thumb again.

     "Do you quarrel sir?" Kenshin asked Koenma.

     Koenma tilted his head. "Quarrel, sir? No, sir."

     "But if you do, sir," Sano had taken his thumb out of his mouth again, "I am for you. I serve as good a man as you."

     "No better," Koenma replied as he glared.

     "Well, sir."

     Kenshin held up his hand to whisper to Sano. "Say ‘better’; here comes one of my master’s kinsmen."

     Sano smirked at Koenma. "Yes, better, sir."

     "You lie!" Koenma said with outrage.

     Sano then unsheathed his sword and held it up. "Draw if you be men!" Kenshin also had his sword out. "Kenshin, remember your ending move!"

     Koenma drew his sword and quickly slashed down at Sano and Kenshin. They jumped to either side of his blade and started to attack him from behind.

     Jorge jumped in front of Sano and held up his sword shakily. Sano smirked at him and tried to hit him from the side, but Jorge blocked, then started running away from the fight. Sano took off after him, and they started running around in circles around Kenshin and Koenma as they also fought.

     Koenma slashed his sword out to try and stab Kenshin’s neck, but Kenshin blocked and threw him off, and began a series of attacks on Koenma, so that he only had time to block. The sound of clinking metal was very loud in the town square.

     Vash, a Montague known for his peaceful ways, ran up to the four of them and tried to stop their fights. "Part, you fools!" He drew his sword and tried to get in between Kenshin and Koenma. Jorge ran and hid behind Vash. "Put away your swords! You don’t know what you’re doing!"

     Koenma was glaring at Sano and Kenshin, and they were glaring back at him, with Vash in the middle trying to stop their fight, when Plush, of the house of Capulet, walked up behind Sano and Kenshin. "What, are you drawn among these cowardly servants?" She asked as she drew her sword and jabbed at Vash.

     Vash blocked, but did not counter attack. "I only try to keep the peace. Put away your sword. Or use it to help me part these men."

     Plush smirked. "What, drawn and talk of peace?" She spit at Vash’s feet. "I hate the word!" She held up her sword, ready to fight. "As I hate hell, all Montagues, and you!" She again slashed at Vash. "Have at thee, Coward!"

     Vash had no choice but to block, and fight back. But he did not strike to hurt Plush, only to make her stop fighting.

     Kenshin and Koenma had started fighting again as soon as Vash was distracted. Sano was also trying to fight Jorge, but he kept running away.

     The citizens that had been in the square either ran away from the brawlers, or surrounded then, trying to break up the fights. "Down with the Capulets! Down with the Montagues!" They chanted loudly.

     Kazuma, the head of the Capulet family, ran into the town square when he heard the yelling. "What’s that noise?" His eyes widened in outrage as he saw Plush, Sano, and Kenshin fighting Montagues. "Give me my long sword!" He demanded of his wife, Lady Nekoko, as she ran out after him.

     "A crutch, a crutch!" Lady Nekoko yelled in his face. "Why do you call for a sword?"

     Yusuke, the head of the Montague family, and his wive, Lady Kaoru, ran into the town square on the other side of the street.

     "My sword, I say!" Kazuma demanded of Lady Nekoko again. "Old Montague is here and flourishes his blade in deviance of me!" He yelled as he glared at Yusuke.

     Yusuke indeed had his sword out, and would attack Kazuma, except Lady Kaoru was holding him back. "You villain Capulet!" He glared down at his wive. "Don’t hold me back! Let me go!" He tried to push her off.

     "You shall not stir one foot to seek a foe!" she yelled at him as she held on even tighter.

     Prince Hiei then walked into the town square, eating ice cream. When he saw the huge brawl, he jumped. "Damnit!" he handed his ice cream to the person next to him. "Rebellious Subjects!" He yelled out. Everyone stopped and looked around.

     Prince Hiei sighed, then jumped up onto a wall top. "Enemies of the peace!" Many more Capulets and Montagues had joined in the fight by that point. All of them gasped. "Throw your misused weapons to the ground, and hear the sentence of your pissed off prince!" He glared down at them. "Civil brawls started by old Capulet and Montague have once again disturbed the peace of our streets, and made Verona’s citizens" he glared at Kazuma and Yusuke "once again wield a weapon. If you ever disturb our streets again, your lives shall pay the price of the loss of the peace!"

     There was a small murmuring throughout the large crowd. "Now, everyone depart your own ways." he hopped down and got his ice cream from the person. "Baka."

     Everyone slipped off in separate direction, not wishing to piss off Prince Hiei more than he already was. Yusuke and Kazuma tried to slip off, but Hiei caught them. "Montague! Capulet!!" he called them back. "You, Capulet, shall go along with me, and Montague, come this afternoon." He glared at the remaining Capulets and Montagues. "Once more, on pain of death, all men depart." He then strutted off eating ice cream with Kazuma and Lady Nekoko following.

     Yusuke crossed his arms and looked at Vash. "Who started this stupid fight, anyway? Tell me, nephew, were you here?"

     "The servants of your enemy were here fighting with your servants when I came." Vash started. "I drew my sword to put them, but as I did, the fiery Plush, with her sword drawn, came, and before I could stop her, she swung her sword at my head, and missed me as the winds hissed by. While she and I were exchanging blows, more and more people joined the fight, until the Prince Hiei came, and parted both sides."

     "Oh... Where is Touya?" Lady Kaoru asked suddenly. "Did you see him today? I’m glad he wasn’t here, at this fight..."

     Vash looked at her. "Madam, an hour before the sun rose, my troubled mind caused me to walk about, and underneath the grove of sycamore west of the city I did see your son. I started to walk towards him, but he was aware of me, and ran off into the cover of the woods. I, seeing his desires as my own, decided not to follow him."

     Yusuke sighed. "He’s been seen there many mornings, crying tears to add to the morning’s dew, making clouds with deep sighs. But as soon as the happy sun begins to rise in the east, away from the hikari he runs home to his own room, shutting up the windows and locking the hikari out, making an artificial night." He sighed and crossed his arms. ("It’s all about the hikari!" He yelled, puffing some of his hikari.)

     "My noble uncle, do you know the cause?" Vash asked him.

     "I don’t, and I can’t get it from him either!" Yusuke yelled.

     "Have you asked him by any means?" Vash persisted.

     "Both by myself and other friends..." Yusuke grumbled. "But he is his own affections’ master, though I don’t know how true he is to himself, but he is so secret and close, far from sounding and discovery, and cannot spread his arms to the air, or let his beauty do the same." He sighed again, and glanced over the now calm town square. "If we could only learn why he’s so upset, we would willingly help him."

     At the same time, Yusuke, Lady Kaoru, and Vash all spotted Touya walk gloomily into view.

     "Here he comes," Vash told them. "Please step aside, and I will know his problems, or else be very much denied."

     Yusuke nodded and put his arm around Lady Kaoru’s waist. "I will be happy to leave you alone to hear Touya’s true story." He looked at his wife and smiled. "Come, madame, let’s go." They then walked off (probably to have sex).

     Vash walked up to Touya, smiling. "Good morning, cousin." He greeted him cheerfully.

     "Is the day so young?" Touya asked with a sigh.

     "The clock just struck nine." Vash answered.

     Touya sighed again and sat on the edge of a fountain. "Sad hours seem long." He looked up at Vash. "Was that my father that left so fast?"

     "It was. What sadness lengthens Touya’s hours?" Vash persisted, not letting himself stray.

     "Not having that, which, having, makes them short."

     Vash blinked. "In love?"

     "Out."

     "Of love?"

     Touya turned and ran his hand through the water in the fountain. "Out of her favor where I am in love."

     "Amazing that love, so gentle in appearance, can be so tyrannous and rough." Vash declared, striking a teary pose.

     Touya sighed again. "And cupid, with his eyes blindfolded, should see pathways to his purposes." He looked up at Vash. "Where should we eat?" Vash was about to answer, but Touya cut him off when he realized the town square was all messed up. "What fray was here?!" Again, Vash was about to answer, but Touya cut him off again. "Don’t tell me, for I have heard it all. Something happened here that had much to do with hate. You can do with love, though." He stood up and looked at Vash. "Oh fighting love, loving hate, oh anything of nothing first created! Oh heavy lightness, serious foolishness, misshapen chaos, attractive in appearance, feather of lead, bright smoke, cold fire, sick health, always wakeful sleep that is not what it is!" He sighed as he continued his oxymorons. "This love that I feel has no love in it." He sighed again. "You don’t laugh at me?"

     Vash shook his head. "No, cousin, I’d rather cry."

     Touya tilted his head. "Good heart, at what?"

     "At your good heart's oppression."

     Touya sat back down on the edge of the fountain. "Why, such is love’s transgression." He looked up at Vash. "You increase the weight of grief in my heart by adding your own griefs to it." Vash sat down beside Touya. "Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs; love, being purged, is a fire sparkling in lovers eyes; being vexed, a sea nourished with loving tears. What else is it?" Vash shook his head and shrugged, so Touya continued. "A madness most judicious, a choking gall, and a preserving sweet." Touya stood up and prepared to walk off. "Farewell, my cousin."

     "Wait, I will go along with you." Vash told him, standing as well. "And if you leave me here, you do me a wrong."

     Touya stopped and shook his head. "I have lost myself. I am not here. This is not Touya. He’s somewhere else."

     Vash thought for a moment. "Tell me, who is it you love?" He asked.

     "What shall I groan and tell you?"

     "Groan?" Vash repeated, blinking. "Why, no. But sadly, tell me who."

     "In sadness, cousin, I do love a woman." Touya sighed.

     Vash blinked and sweatdropped. "Yes, I was guessing that when you said you loved..." He mused.

     "And she’s so fair... the one I love." Touya sighed.

     "A fair target in sight, fair cousin, is easiest hit."

     Touya shook his head. "She won’t be hit by Cupid’s arrow. She, in strong proof of chastity, is well armed from love’s weak childish bow. She lives unsubject to love’s spell. Oh, she is rich in beauty, only poor that, her beauty dies when she does, and so does beauty’s store."

     "Then she has sworn that she will never love?" Vash guessed.

     "She has, and in her refusal to love, makes a huge waste. She is too beautiful, too wise, wisely too just to merit bliss by making me despair. She has sworn not to love, and in that vow, I live dead."

     "Take my advice, forget about her." Vash told Touya.

     "Teach me how I can forget to think!" Touya pleaded Vash, dropping to his knees.

     "Alright." Vash agreed. "Just go check out other women!"

     Touya shook his head. "I cannot forget her. She is the most beautiful woman." He stood up. "Farewell. You cannot teach me to forget." He then started to walk away.

     "I shall teach you, or else die in debt." Vash disagreed, following him.

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