Act II, Scene 4

     Kensei lay on his back on a wall as he watched women walk by. Vash stood next to him, practicing his swordplay.

     "Where the hell is Touya?! He didn't go home last night?" Kensei exclaimed as he jumped off the wall.

     "Not to his father's." Vash replied carelessly, swinging his sword to the left sharply. "I asked a servant."

     "That cold-hearted bitch, Hikaru!" Kensei clenched his fist. "She torments him, so that he runs around like an idiot!"

     "Plush, the kinsman to old Capulet, has sent a letter to the Montagues." Vash commented, quickly changing the subject.

     "A challenge, I'll bet my life on it." Kensei said as he grabbed Vash's sword away from him, and began his own fake swordplay.

     Vash glared momentarily at him, and then hopped up to sit on the wall. "Touya will answer it." He finished.

     "Anyone can answer a letter." Kensei commented with a smirk.

     "No, the one the letter was sent to will answer it as he dares, being dared." Vash disagreed.

     Kensei continued his sword play. "Alas, poor Touya, he is already dead, stabbed with that bitch's deadly arrow of non-love sent by cupid. And is he man enough to fight Plush?"

     "Why, what is Plush?" Vash asked curiously.

     "A woman, damnit! Very good at swordplay, if you know what I mean?" Kensei winked.

     Vash stared at him. "What?"

     "A transvestite! She goes around wearing men's clothes and apparently has a very high status in the Capulet family! And she can kick anyone's ass with a sword."

     Vash tilted his head. "Here comes Touya!" he announced, pointing.

     Kensei glanced at Touya. "Sexually spent, I'll bet, looks like a dried herring. Oh, how are you fishified? Signior Touya, bonjour." Kensei waved his arm in a spiral and bowed low as Touya walked over to them.

     "There's a French salutation to your French slop!" Kensei exclaimed as he straightened up. "You gave us the counterfeit last night."

     Touya smiled. "Good morning to you too. What counterfeit did I give you?"

     "The slip, sir, the slip! A counterfeit coin is a slip, don't you understand?"

     "Ah, pardon me, good Kensei. My business was great, and in such a case as mine, a man may act in violation of courtesy."

     "That's like saying, in your case; a man would bow in the hams."

     "Meaning to curtsy."

     "You have most kindly got it." Kensei said with another sweeping bow.

     "A most courteous exposition." Touya laughed.

     "Nah, I am the very pink of courtesy. The perfect example." Kensei jumped up.

     "Pink for flower?"

     "Right!"

     "Why then is my show well flowered?" Touya held up his shoe to show Kensei how pretty is was.

     "Sure wit, follow me this joke until you have worn out your shoe, that when the single sole of it is worn our, your joke may remain, after wearing, solely singular."

     "Oh single-soled joke, unique in it's solely singular for the singleness."

     "Stop us Vash! I can't think of a comeback."

     "Hurry up! Think of something!" Touya urged. "Or I'll call it a victory for me!"

     "Not if we will let this battle of wits run around in a wild-goose chase, I won't continue. You have more of the wild goose in one of your jokes than I have in five of mine. Have I scored a victory over you by talking of the goose?"

     Touya smirked. "I was far above you when you made the goose joke. For you are a goose."

     Kensei glared at Touya. "I will bite your ear for that one!" He made to bite Touya's ear, but Touya swiftly dodged.

     "Nay, good goose, don't bite."

     "Your wit is very bitter-sweet; it is a sour sauce."

     "And it is not, then, well served into a sweet goose?"

     Kensei groaned. "Oh here's a smartass like leather that stretches from a centimeter narrow to a meter broad."

     Touya continued as if teaching a child. "I stretch it out for that word 'broad', which added to the goose, proves you are a fat goose."

     Kensei glared "Why, is this not better than groaning for love? Now you're sociable, now you're Touya, now what you are, by are you by nature. For this driveling love is like running around like a great idiot who wants to hide his dick."

     Vash jumped off the wall, and stepped between them. "Stop there!"

     "You want me to stop my tale against my wishes?" Kensei asked, looking innocent.

     Vash smiled. "You would have made your tale large."

     "Oh, you're wrong. I would have made it short, for I would come to the whole depth of my tale and meant to occupy the argument no longer."

     Vash and Touya broke our laughing at Kensei's horrible sex jokes. Vash jumped back up to sit on the wall.

     Nurse Michi tiredly walked down the street with her servant, Syaoran following. She was wearing dark purple today, and was looking around.

     Kensei saw her and whistled loudly. "Hey! Michi! We had fun last night!" He smiled broadly. Vash gave him a look and raised his eyebrow.

     Nurse Michi stopped and blinked at him. "Anou... last night? At the party? I recognize you, but I don't remember what we did..."

     Kensei smirked and Touya smacked him. "You're such a player, Kensei." He told him.

     Nurse Michi sweat dropped. "Am... I missing something?"

     All three of them smirked. "Yes, very much." Kensei said.

     "Ne..." She coughed. "Anyhow. Hm, can anyone tell me where I may find the young Touya?"

     Touya, Vash, and Kensei gave each other looks. "I can tell you," Touya started. "but young Touya will be older when you have found him than when you started looking for him. I am the youngest of that name, for lack of a worse."

     "You say well." Nurse Michi smiled.

     "Is the worst well?" Kensei asked. "Very well understood, in faith, wisely, wisely."

     Nurse Michi ignored him. "If you be him, sir, I desire to speak with you." She said to Touya.

     "Aww, you don't want to speak to us?" Vash whined.

     "Yeah!" Kensei looked at Touya. "Will you go back to your father's house? We can eat there."

     "I will come later." Touya replied.

     Kensei jumped up and pulled Vash off the wall. "Farewell, fair Michi!" he said with another sweeping bow. As he and Vash walked by Nurse Michi, Kensei grabbed Michi's breast.

     Michi turned bright red and threw her fan at the two of them as they ran off laughing. Her fan hit Vash on the head. "Oww!!"

     "I ask you, sir, what saucy rogue was that who was so full of his rude speech?!" She demanded of Touya.

     Touya raised his eyebrow. "You really were drunk last night." Michi glared at him. "A gentleman, Nurse, which loves to hear himself talk, and will speak more in a minute than he can defend in a month."

     "And if speaks anything against me gain, I'll take him down, and if I cannot, I'll find someone who shall! Bloody bastard! I am none of his flirting woman!" Touya gave her a look as she panted heavily from her rant. She turned to her servant. "And you stand by too and allow every bastard to use me at his pleasure?!"

     Syaoran looked at her. He had been watching a band of three musicians across the street, including a certain air head. "I saw no man use you at his pleasure." He insisted.

     Nurse Michi gave him a look, then indicated her chest.

     "Umm..." he stuttered, turning red. "I saw no man use you at his pleasure! If I had, I would have quickly drawn my weapon out. I assure you, I draw quickly as soon as any other man, if I see a good fight, and if the law's on my side."

     Nurse Michi turned from him and crossed her arms. "Now, I am so violated that every part of me quivers. Bloody bastard!" She turned to Touya and smiled, letting her arms fall to her side. "I ask you, sir, a word. And as I told you, my young lady told me to find you. What she told me, I will keep to myself. But first, let me tell you." She then looked up at him threateningly, being much shorter than him. "If you should lead her in a false love, as they say, it would be a very gross kind of behavior, as they say. For my lady is young, and therefore, if you should go with another on her, cruel it would be an ill and cruel thing for her, and a weak dealing for you." She crossed her arms.

     Touya smiled. "Nurse, offer my greetings to your lady and mistress. I won't lead her in a false love."

     "Good, good!" She interrupted. "I will tell her so; she will be a joyful lady!"

     "What will you tell her, Nurse?" Touya quickly asked. "You do not listen to me."

     "I will tell her, sir, that you will not." Nurse Michi said smiling. "What, I take is a gentleman like offer."

     "Give her some means to come friar Aohiki this afternoon, there we shall be married." He reached into his pocket and pulled out some money and offered it to Nurse Michi. "Here, this is for your pains."

     "No, truly, sir, I cannot." She refused.

     Touya shrugged and began to put the money back in his pocket, but Nurse Michi grabbed it and shoved it into her bra, smiling.

     Touya smiled again. "Go back to my love, and tell her what I have said."

     "This afternoon, sir, correct?" she made sure. Touya nodded. "Well, she shall be there."

     "And stay behind the temple wall, good Nurse. Within an hour, my servant will be there, and bring  a rope ladder so I can get up to my love in the secret night, farewell, be trusty, and I'll reward your pains. Farewell. Offer my greeting to your mistress."

     "Now, God in heaven bless all Atheists!" Nurse Michi struck a pose pointing to the sky with both hands. She then looked at Touya. "If I may ask sir..."

     "Yes?"

     "Can your servant be trusted?" she asked. "Did you ever hear the quote 'Two may keep a secret if only one knows it'?"

     "My servant is as true as steel."

     "Well, sir, my mistress is the sweetest lady." Nurse Michi smiled, thinking of her. "When she was but a little chattering thing... Oh, there is a man in town, named Jin, who has laid eyes and heart of her, but she, sweet girl, sees him a toad. I anger her sometimes and tell her Jin is the better man, but when I say so, she turns paler than snow."

     "Give my greetings to your lady."

     "Yes, I will, a thousand times." She agreed happily.

     "Oh yeah, I wanted to ask you..."

     "Yes?" Michi tilted her head and smiled.

     "Did you have sex with Kensei last night?" Touya asked.

     "........................" Nurse Michi turned slightly red. "Kensei, wait!!!!" she called back in the direction Kensei and Vash had run off.

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